Changes

Okay, this sucks. I haven't been able to do jack shit to my page while at work in a long time. Especially now that they've got my desk right out in the middle of everything where everyone who walks by can see what I'm doing. Now, don't get me wrong. When I have work to do, I do it. But while working, I occasionally like to do a mail check, see who's on BTG, or whatever. There's one person that works here that has a knack of walking by my desk at the exact moment I take a thirty second break to check my mail. Therefore, everytime she sees me, I'm not working. I don't know what it is about this place, but everyone is either afraid to talk to me or doesn't like confrontation. Instead, they tell Carol and Carol tells me. Carol is technically my supervisor, but if someone's got a problem with me, they should bring it to me. You know, I hope none of my co-workers read my page because that could cause all kinds of problems. I don't think anyone but Carol ever had the address, but you never know. Anyway, I'll be glad when the new furniture gets here and I'm back in my old spot by the window with a couple of semi-walls around me. As it stands right now, Arjun took my cubical. I've had that since we moved over here from Strong Hall. Well, at least he didn't get my computer. What it all boils down to is that he's full time and I'm only a student. I'm expendible, and I know it. It's going to be interesting when he starts learning COI stuff, since I deal with most of the paper work for that. But anyway...

Rodney wanted to borrow my Dude Ranch cd, so in return I made him let me borrow Blink's new cd. Let me tell you, it kicks so much ass! I've not bought a new cd in forever, but when I do - it'll be Blink's new one... which I can't remember the name of right now. Maybe I'll find it used, but if not, when I go to buy it I'm going to buy it whether I have to pay $8 or $15. It fucking kicks ass!

I don't know how well I'm going to be able to handle this getting up early every morning thing. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I have to get up at 7:30am and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm up at 8:30am. And that just plain sucks. If Theryn weren't lying next to me, I'd probably never get up. We help each other out of bed in the mornings... so I hope that it never comes to the point where we both don't have the motivation to get out of bed, let alone encourage someone else to do so. Shit, it's only the sixth day of class and I'm wanting to give up. I'm never going to make it.

Why's it gotta be raining? What's up with that?

Man, it's so weird to think that Courtney's gone for a year. I mean, sure, I never saw her everyday or anything, but she was usually there when I went over to see Rodney. And since I got a place, it's been less me going over there and more him over to my place. He has got a lot of issues to resolve, and I hoped he'd have resolved them by now - well over a year after the break up. That dream he had was fucked up. I'm sure he got the black part from the poster, as he said, and I'm sure he dreamt of her because he'd been thinking about her because it was her birthday. I'm seriously worried about him. I don't know what I can do to help him, but if there were something I'd do it. Even though he is an asshole sometimes, he's still my best friend and one of the closest male friends that I've ever had. I guess you could say he's the closest thing to a brother that I ever had. So you know, I have to worry about him - cause he's like my little brother, or something.

Jesus, it's the 26th of August already. Where does the time go? It's seems like only yesterday that we were moving into our new place. Now rent's coming due again, and we're heading into our second month of living there. Weird.

My mother's in South Dakota on vacation right now. And you know, I really miss her. It was different when she was just across town, because she was there, but I was able to choose whether or not I got to see her. Now, I have no choice. It was especially bad the other night. I was really fucking tired but had to read for school and I was almost falling asleep and in a grumpy mood and got to the point where I was like "I want my mommy!". I'm such a girl.

Okay, it's really storming out there now. So I'm going to upload this and then do some work. That way, the stuff I'm working on isn't that important. If the power dies, I won't care that it's lost. Ha ha!

Goldfinger & Showoff @ Center Stage in Topeka, KS. October 5th, 1999.

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