Why do good things have to change?

I realize that change is inevitable, and that most of the time, change is good. But when good things change, well, it's just bad. Good things that have changed recently: the Lazer, my relationship with some of my friends, my town in general. I guess it's mostly small things. Like the Java Break. Back in high school, my friends and I ruled that place. I'd walk in and I'd know almost everyone there. Then slowly it became a place for the trendy crowd to hang out, the management started treating regulars like shit, and it just went downhill. Now I go in there, and if there's anyone there it's frat boys, sorority girls, or junior high kids. I don't know. It's just like when things are going so good, I don't want them to change. And there for a while, everything was right. A place for everything and everything in its place. Now things are changing, and I suppose my attitude toward things had better change along with them, or I'm doomed.

Theryn and I went to the Java Break tonight. Ben had left the house a little before us, and he was there when we arrived. He was in back, but it was crowded so Theryn and I went to the front room and read the Pitch. The Pitch, by the way, gave Natalie's live album a bad review. Fuck those nee-hahs! Anyway, we stayed there for about an hour or two I guess, and then Ben left. I was trying to wait for Rodney, but he never showed up. I got faulty information from one of the Rancho crew that said he was watching a movie with Mia and wanted to go out after. The truth was he was watching TWO movies. Oh well. Tonight kind of illustrates my point. We used to have lots of things to do in this town. We'd just hang out, and know people wherever we went. Now we sit at the JB not knowing anyone and saying "What do you want to do?" "I dunno, what do you want to do?". I wish my friends were 21.

I didn't do so hot this last semester in school. This coming semester is going to be a shape up or ship out semester. I'm talking to my counselor, and hopefully she'll be able to help. I just need someone to keep me on track, and the few times I met with her near the end of the last semester seemed to perk me up and make me feel that I could actually do well in school. Knowing you can and feeling that you actually can are two different things. Plus, I tend to do better with do or die situations, so we'll see.

Okay, I know my computer desk is a fucking mess, but it's my fucking mess. Don't fuck with it. And whoever was fucking with my little Lego guy, I want to know where his little flag went. Don't fuck with my stuff if you're not going to respect it. I don't normally write stuff like this, but I know the guilty party reads this and will get the message.

I want to update my page, but I don't really know what else I can do to it. It kind of feels like I've reached the limit of my skills and there's no more I can do. If that's the case, I need to start reading Theryn's web guide book she got for Christmas and start learning myself some other stuff!

"Pretty women walkin' with gorrillas down my street..."

Man, let's see. Since I last wrote I got a new stereo for Christmas, plus a Glen Cadrez (#59, baby!) jersey, and a bunch of other cool stuff. New Years was spent partying here. Went to dinner with my sister, mother, step-dad, and my sister's friend. Came back here and partied until about 2am. Highlights of the night were kissing at least five girls at midnight (Theryn, Susie, Leslie, Mia, Lindsay...), Leslie's shoes, my MOM showing up, Mia being drunk off her ass, Ben getting off work in time to be here at midnight, all of us missing the turn of the new year (looked at the tv and it said :30, looked away, looked back and there were fireworks), my sister showing up and making a fool of me, and taking Tequila shots with Courtney. Everyone had a grand old time.

My writing mood has left me. Adios.

"Is she really going out with him?"

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