God Save the Queen.

Let's see, where to start. Theryn and I left for England on May 24, and we arrived home as scheduled on June 4th. The planes weren't delayed too much either way, which is a blessing.

When we arrived at Gatwick airport in London, we were exhausted from the eight and a half hour flight. As we were waiting in line to go through customs, I reached into my bag to get my Vans sunglasses that I've had since the '98 Warped Tour, and to my dismay they hadn't survived the trip. One of the ear things that holds them on broke off. So, if anyone knows where I can get some new ones without having to travel to Colorado or Texas to go to this years Warped Tour, let me know. Anyway, in order to get where we were staying, we had to buy a train ticket and figure out the train schedules and all that stuff. Of course, we didn't do it right and ended up about an hour away from where we were supposed to be. Anyone who knows me well must know how much this sucked for me. I really, really don't like being lost. One of my, well I guess it's almost a phobia, is not knowing where I am or how to get where I'm going. I hate being lost. A couple of nice Londoners helped us get on the right train for where we were going, and about two and a half hours after we arrived in London we finally got to where we were staying.

We stayed with some friends of Theryn's family. The Kleirs: John, Helen, Seb, and Sophie. When we arrived, Seb was the only one home and he let us in. We said hello and he showed us to our room where we promptly laid down and went to sleep for about five hours. When we got up, we went downstairs and spoke with John and Helen for a couple hours and then we went back to sleep. We were so jet-lagged.

The sun comes up at about five in the morning over there, and since we didn't think about closing the curtains, we were up with the sun. It was okay though, because we were able to lounge around and then be off in the morning to be tourists. And it's at this point that I'm going to stop trying to tell the events in the order that they happened - my memory isn't good enough to do so.

While we were in London we did a great many things. We walked around in awe quite a bit. We went to Trafalgar Square, which is just this big area with a couple fountains and some cool statues. Plus, it was inundated with pigeons. They were everywhere, and we have pictures of these two little girls who were holding food for the pigeons and the pigeons landed on the little girls so they looked like statues of little girls made up of pigeons. From there it's a short walk to Buckingham Palace, where we saw the guards, but we didn't see them change. If you go down a different road, there you'll find Big Ben and the Houses of Parliment (however you spell it).

We tried to go to the Millenium Dome, but when we got there there was a really fucking long line and we had tickets to see a play that evening so we decided just to wander around London a bit more rather than stand in line for two hours only to get to be in the Dome for a short time. The play we went to see was called "Art" and it starred Patrick Duffy(Serge), Richard Thomas(Yvan) from the Waltons, and Paul Freeman(Marc) who was on Falcon Crest. Go here to learn more about it. It was really, really funny. I think the funniest part was the two to three minute, fast paced, little breathing monologue that Richard Thomas' character performs. If you get a chance to see this play I would highly recommend it.

I should have written this only a few days after we got back, and I should have done it in one sitting - my memory is fading. Let's see, what else did we do? We went up to Edinburgh, Scotland for a couple days which was very cool. We stayed in a really neat little guest house. The best part was the "free" breakfast. Let's see, we spent an entire afternoon wandering around Edinburgh Castle. I got the pictures back from the trip, save the one Theryn couldn't find so isn't developed yet, and I promise to scan them sometime this week, along with pictures from Goldfinger. We also went on a ghost story tour of Old Edinburgh, which was kind of hokey, but it was cool.

We tried several times to go to the Tower of London, but every time we did, it started raining. And since most of the tour is outside, we decided not to do it in the rain. The first day we tried we ended up going on a tour of the Tower Bridge. It's the one that raises in the middle to let ships pass. It was a neat little tour and we got some beautiful pictures from the top of it.

At some point in London, we ate at a place called Bella Pasta. The food was okay, but we ordered water and they asked if we wanted sparkling or still. We said still and they brought out a bottle that looked like a wine bottle and two glasses. It was water. 3.50 water. The pound was going for about $1.50 when we were there, so that water cost, what five and a quarter? Well, anyway, it was totally unexpected but we didn't say anything. The waitress was cute but quite rude. And speaking of rude waitresses, we had about an hour to kill before Art, so we went to a little cafe to have tea and maybe something to eat. We ordered our tea, and then the waitress came back and asked if we wanted to order anything. Theryn said that we hadn't decided yet, and the waitress says "Which means you don't want anything. It's better to say the truth than to lie" and left. We just kind of sat there in stunned silence. We were going to order something. We considered not ordering after that, but that would have meant that the bitch waitress would think she was right. Luckily, Theryn wanted ice cream so she got some and the waitress got a little more pleasant, but damn. Whatta bitch.

Other things we did... we went to the Natural History Museum, went to the National Portrait Gallery, Theryn made me to with her to the Tate Museum of Modern Art - I just don't get what is so artful about a bunch of trash glued/welded/piled together. And I don't get why a video of some naked guy jumping up and down is art. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy my time in that museum. We did go down to Brighton, but the Guttermouth show never materialized so it turned out that the only reason we went down there was to eat and sleep.

The last full day we had in London we went to Leischter Square, which is just around the corner from Piccadilly Circus - famous for signs like those seen in Times Square. We watched street performers, and just wandered around. Then we went to see Gladiator because Theryn hadn't. For the two of us it was 16. Yeah, a pretty damned expensive movie.

We left the day after that. I had a blast, but by those last two days I was definitely ready to come home. Our flight wasn't too delayed and we arrived safely. I've probably forgotten something, so either I'll write about it later when Theryn reminds me or you'll just have to live without knowing about it.

And now, for something completely different -

The Devils won the Cup! Woo! I wish the Avalanche would have won the Cup, but I was very happy to see the Stars lose, and I really like Claude Lemieux, so I was happy to see his team win. Rodney and I watched the game last night. Earlier in the day yesterday I bought Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" and we were listening to it and decided to get a couple 40's for the game. It was funny. Inbetween periods we played house hockey... and I don't think we broke anything, but we had one hell of a fun time!

I think that's all the news that's fit to tell... does anyone know what the hell Ben was talking about on his webpage?

"You, my friend, I will defend..."

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